You Have Permission to Stop Faking It (So You Can Choose to Make It!)
I’m going to be honest with you and myself right now. I’m really tired.
And when I feel this way...
It is so tempting to put on a happy, excited, awake mask.
But I’m not going to do that. Because faking it sucks.
There’s a ton of messaging out there right now about “faking it till you make it.”
But here’s the truth about faking it: people see through it.
And it takes a lot of energy to fake things. It’s energy spent fighting yourself about how you actually feel and who you are at any moment in time.
And faking it keeps us from dealing with what’s actually in front of us.
When we pretend something isn’t real, we can’t make decisions based in reality.
On the other hand, pausing for a second, to actually truly acknowledge our current state, is such an act of kindness.
Not only to ourselves, giving ourselves permission to experience whatever is happening, but to others, because our example gives that permission to others, to let down the mask. It’s also really practical, because when we acknowledge reality, we can act on it.
Once we’ve acknowledged what’s happening, we can make real choices instead of faking it.
For me in that video up there, faking it would be plastering a smile on my face, (and even making sure it touches my eyes so that you can’t tell that it’s a fake!) It would be lifting myself up so I seem buoyant.
A real choice would be to rest, instead of to push.
I can let myself rest where I’m sitting. I can breathe. I can feel the collapse of exhaustion in my chest, and I can let support come up through me. Once I let go of the force used to pick myself up and fake things, I can start to also let go of that collapse.
I get to be more authentic. I get to make choices. I don't have to fake it.
So the next time you feel yourself starting to fake it, to put something on for someone else, just ask what would happen if you let myself actually be there in that moment. If you stop faking it, can you make choices that let you actually make it?